Parenting is the most essential and vital element in any child growth and development. Parenting is the process of promoting and supporting the physical, emotional, social and intellectual development of a child from infancy to adulthood. Parenting will either have a positive or a negative impact or effect on a child.  Research has it that there are four types of Parenting. Each and every parenting style has a different approach to parenting and has different characteristics.

• Authoritarian Parenting.

Authoritarian is a type of parenting where it is all about rules. Most of the parents under this type of parenting, they believe children are there to be seen and not heard. They don’t take their children feelings into consideration. Authoritarian parents are not interested in negotiating, their focus is the obedience of the rules they have set without any excuse. When it comes to problem-solving they don’t allow their children to participate. In most cases the authoritarian parents use punishments. Children who grow under authoritarian parents are at risk of having self-esteem problems because their opinions aren’t valued. Sometimes instead of thinking of their future they often focus on the anger which they abhor against their parents. Some children do well academically because they fear punishment. On the other hand, most children under this type of parenting may end up being good liars and pretenders for purposes of avoiding any form of punishments. This affects them even when they become adults, they tend not to do anything in their power to avoid any form of punishments.

• Permissive Parenting.

Unlike Authoritarian, on the other hand, permissive parenting set rules but they rarely enforce them. They also don’t give out consequences in case the child does not follow the rules. Most children under this type of parenting do whatever they want. These parents tend to think that the child will learn better when there is little interference from the parent. A permissive parent may give privileges to the children when they beg them or with the child promise to be good. This kind of parenting assumes the position of a friend more than the parent role. Children who grow under permissive parenting are likely to show more behavioral problems as they don’t appreciate authority. They may also struggle academically because the parents accept them the way they are. Parents avoid confrontation with the children. They may also have high health risk, like obesity, because permissive aren’t struggle to limit junk food intake. They are more likely to have dental problems because permissive parent often doesn’t often encourage good habits such as children brushing teeth.  The children under this kind of parenting they may lack motivation, discipline and may have problems with authorities.

• Uninvolved or Neglectful Parenting.

This type of parenting unlike authoritarian and permissive is uninvolved or neglectful. This is where the parents are absent or not having any presence in the lives of their children. This is one of the most harmful types of parenting. There are several reasons which cause this type of parenting. Uninvolved parenting may be caused by divorce, parents being jailed, single parents working away from where the children are. A mental health problem can also cause parents to be uninvolved. Uninvolved parent, they expect children to raise themselves. Most of them they don’t devote much time to meet children basic needs. Sometimes the older child is expected to raise the young ones. Children under this type of parenting have difficulties in relationships, they can’t relate well with society. Children grow with bitterness, resentment, and feeling of rejection. Children growing under uninvolved parents they perform poorly in the schools and always are not happy. Sometimes they make poor choices which end up hurting. Girls under these type of parenting may opt to be married early and since they are poor in a relationship, they land in wrong hands which cause them more misery. 

• Authoritative Parenting.

Compared to Authoritarian, Permissive and Uninvolved, Authoritative parenting has been regarded as the most effective parenting type of parenting. Authoritative parents put the effort into creating and maintaining the right relationship with the child. In authoritative parenting parents give rules and explain reasons behind the rules. They also enforce the rules and give consequences however they take into consideration their children feeling. This kind of parenting put high demand, high standards, and expectations. However, the demands, standards, and expectations are balanced with warmth, respect, and rationality. It encourages open communication and cooperation. Children’s under this kind of parenting are most likely to be independent, socially accepted since they are less likely to have problems with authority. Children growing under authoritative parenting are respectful and therefore this makes them be good in academically. Children growing under authoritative parenting most likely become responsible adults who can easily express themselves. Authoritative parenting produces children who are disciplined and successful. Authoritative parenting will most likely produce an adult who will be in return be responsible parents and good adults in society.

Well, which category describes you? All the same, not all parents fit into one category. Each category represents a parent. The authoritative parenting is the best type of parenting. However, if you tend to identify yourself with other of the three types of parenting you can take positive steps to become an authoritative parent. With dedication and commitment to becoming the best parent, you can maintain a positive relationship with your child and at the same time establishing your authority is a healthy manner. And over time your child can reap the benefits of your authoritative parenting. No situation is permanent, one can change and become a more responsible parent. 

Most people enter into relationships and are very optimistic that their relationship will last for a long time.  However, the majority of relationship end up in dissolution.  What could be some of the most common reasons why many relationships don’t last? The following list is not comprehensive. It only suggests some most common reasons for break-ups in many relationships.

1.  Expectations Issues

There’s is a wise saying which says, “Two cannot walk together unless they agree”. It is very had for a couple to walk in a relationship for a long time if they have different expectations. For example, a man may expect to get four children’s, whereas the woman may just be thinking of getting two children’s. It is best that before the couple enters a relationship they may discuss their expectations.

2. Abuse Issues

Some of the relational abuses like verbal, emotional, physical and sexual abuses cause relationships not to last long. Most of these abuses are against the law. Some of the causes of these kinds of abuses are drug abuse, bad company and the bring up one from his childhood. Anyone who was brought from an abusive family, the possibility of them being abusive in their marriage is high.  Any relationship which has such abuses will not be able to last long.

3. Mistrust Issues

Trust is the fountain of any relationship. Lack of trust is very harmful to any relationship. Whenever trust is lost then it is hard to keep the relationship. Some of the cause of loss of trust can be sexual infidelity, lack of transparency in finances, jealousy, and lack of mutual support among others. Relationships cannot be sustained for a long time without trust. Trust is very critical in any successful relationships.

4. Communication Issues

This is one of the greatest causes of many relationships not lasting for long. Many studies have pointed out that communication can make or break any relationships. When there no good communication among the spouse it cause a rift among the partners.  Whenever there is a rift in any relationships, if not solved it will cause any relationship not to last for a long time.

5. Money Issues

Disputes in money issues tend to affect deeply our psychological needs. It causes partners to feel insecure with each other. Research has proved that disputes caused by money issues are the top reasons for many marital separation and dissolutions. Most marital divorces are caused by differences caused by money and money related issues such as ownership of properties etcetera.

Conclusion

Each couple may have a different set of reasons why their relationships could not work. On the contrary every couple can fix their relationships and make it work. It is possible for any relationship to last long if we will avoid these pitfalls. We can avoid these common reasons which cause relationships not to last for a long time.

Many Christians want to build successful marriages which can please God. However, many don’t understand where to get the pattern from and how to build a successful marriage which can please God.  For us therefore to have successful marriages that can please God, then we need to consider the blueprint of marriage from God point of view. We have to go back and desire to know what was and is in the mind of God concerning marriage? What was his original intention when he instituted marriage? Let’s consider some of the intentions and heart desires of God in a Marriage that pleases him?

1. Marriage is to Reflect God’s Nature and Character.

When God created the male and female, he created them to have his image and likeness. His image and likeness, in a nutshell, means his nature and character. The original Idea, of God, was to create man in His own Image and likeness which he did. He said,” Let us make man in our own image and likeness and in the likeness of God he created man, male and female he created them” (Gen 1:26-27).  God desire for each one of us is to be like him. The word of God, admonishes husbands to love their wives, just as Christ loved the church (Eph 5:27). This means that we derive patterns in our marriages from Christ. Therefore for us to have the patterns of Christ in our marriages then we need to be like Him. We can, therefore, conclude that a successful Marriage that pleases God, reflects and display His nature and character.

• Marriage is to Reflect Oneness in God.

God’s design was the male (husband) and the female (the wife) to be one.  Just as God is one he wanted the male and the female in marriage to be one. He even called them one name Adam or Man, when he created them (Gen 5:2). Therefore, we can say, the design of God in his mind, for our marriages, is to produce a one man who is in the image and likeness of God.  We see that when God created the woman and brought her to Adam. Adam Said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh and she shall be called a woman”.  And God further said, for this reason, Man shall leave his Father and Mother and shall cleave to his wife and they shall no Longer be two but one.  This is the mystery in the marriage that they shall no longer be two but one thing in God. We can conclude and say that a successful Marriage that pleases God becomes a “one thing” in Him.

• Marriage to advance God’s purpose

When God created the man he gave him a garden to tend and care for it. He even commanded the man and the woman to have dominion and rule. God did not just author marriage for fun but he had a purpose for it. He wanted to advance his purposes through a family unit. We see this throughout the word of God, that each time He wants to advance his purposes he calls a man. We have an example of Abraham, he was called to become a great nation. However, for him to become a father of nation he had to have a wife who is a mother of nations. God changed the name of Abram to Abraham the father of nations and he equally did the same to the wife, he changed the name from Sarai to Sarah the mother of nations. We can conclude that any successful marriage that pleases God advances His purposes on the earth.

We can conclude that marriage is an institution which was authored by God himself. We see even the very idea for Adam to have a partner originated from God. It was never the idea of man to have a partner. It was God who said, ‘it’s not good for the Man to be alone.” Adam had no idea what it meant to be alone. Therefore for us to build a successful marriage that can please God, we have to know his nature and character.  We have to know his blueprint concerning marriage and begin to build our marriages according to his plan and his heart desire.

In the world today, we have more marriages breaking every day than those which are succeeding. The question is, in the midst of these moral collapses, how do you make your marriage successful? Is it possible to have a successful marriage in this modern world? What then are some of the strong pillars for any successful marriage? Here are some pillars for a strong and successful marriage.

1. The Pillar of Unconditional Love

Love is one of the strongest pillars of marriage. There are two kinds of Love in marriage Emotional and unconditional. Emotional love is very unpredictable because it depends on feeling, whereas unconditional love goes beyond feelings. Many marriages built on Emotional Love are bound to fail the test of time.

Unconditional love is one of a strong pillar in any successful marriage. Unconditional love will help spouses to be patient with each other. Unconditional Love provides an environment of safety. Love is a catalyst for intimacy in marriage.  Love holds together the marriage and a family. It helps the marriages go through all kinds of trials and test of time.  Unconditional love is the glue which will keep any successful marriage.

2. The Pillar of Commitment

Successful marriages are built on commitment. Many have said marriage is built on a covenant relationship, which is very true. However, we have seen many breaking the marriage covenant and we are left to wonder what went wrong. Covenant in Marriage is an agreement between the two spouses the Male and female, while Commitment is the Cement and/or the glue of any Marriage Covenant.

For the covenant to last, then we need commitment. Commitment helps one to stand and defend the marriage covenant. Therefore Commitment in Marriage is the secret of any lasting Marriage Commitment to one another will make the marriage, to last and go beyond the test of time. Spouses in Marriage MUST decide to be committed to each other and committed to make their marriage successful.

3. The Pillar of Trust

Trust is another strong pillar of any Successful Marriage. It is the bedrock and the foundation of any successful Marriage. Marriage cannot be built and sustained without trust. Trust is very critical in marriage. Trust is earned but also is given. It considerable time to build and earn trust, but even so, it can be easily broken and lost. Trust can be given and/or Credited. 

When one decides to Trust their spouse, even when they are not trustworthy, with time, the person given trust, will become trustworthy. In much successful Marriage, you will find that each spouse has decided to trust one another. Without Trust marriages are easily broken and when one lose trust it’s hard to restore it. It is possible to create a trustworthy environment in your marriage and begin to succeed.

4. The Pillar of Respect

Another strong pillar of a successful marriage is respect. It is said that wives need to respect their husband, which is absolutely true, however, the kind of respect, successful marriage have goes beyond just a wife respecting the husband. It starts with each one respecting each other, in the sense that no one can decide to be unfaithful to the other.

Many who are unfaithful they don’t respect themselves or their partner.This kind of respect makes the spouse to keep themselves pure in the marriage. It helps them to be faithful and honest with each other. It makes each spouse be secure with each other. When one respects himself or herself, it will result in being respected by others. Respect is very instrumental and critical in having a successful marriage.

Conclusion In the midst of this moral collapse, we can build successful marriages.  When we use these four strong pillars in building our marriages then we will

In the Couch Surfing Site, we have travelers and those who Host Travellers. I joined Couch Surfing since 2012. I have used Couch Surfing as a Host more than as a traveler.  I have heard many amazing stories and learned great Lessons.

In this article, I will share some of the amazing stories of the travelers which I have hosted. And I will also share some of the Lessons I have learned through hosting travelers for free in my house which is in Mombasa , Kenya.

The Deaf and Mute Travellers.

One day we hosted two ladies coming all the way from Denmark, who were both deaf and mute. At first, I thought to myself, it’s going to be very crazy and bad experience. But when they arrived they had devised a way of communicating with us. We communicated through text Messages. They would write something on their phone and show us and then give us their phone and we answer, by text message in their phone.

Actually, it was very interesting. One day I directed them to a Diani beach, which was very far from my house. For them to reach to that Beach, they had to take four different Vehicles besides crossing the ferry to be in that beach. Now, how they managed to go and come back late in the night was not only surprising but very amazing. One night I saw them in their room watching a Movie, and they seemed to be enjoying the movie so much. What had attracted me to their room was I heard them laughing.

I learned that God is a wonderful God. It was amazing that I and my family could communicate with these beautiful ladies each one speaking their languages but we understood each other. It reminded me of how children sometimes communicate with each other when playing regardless of the Language each one speaks. So it does not matter whether you are dumb and mute, you can travel overseas and get people who can host you in their houses absolutely for free.

The Hitchhikers Travellers

We have hosted some travelers who came to our House through hitchhiking. Hitchhiking is the travelling by asking free lifts or free ride. There were these particular travelers who were young at their 20’s. It was a lady and her cousin who came from Russia, hitchhiking. It was very interesting to hear their stories on how they traveled from Russia to Mombasa, Kenya.

They hitchhiked through many countries, touching all these European countries, Ukraine, Poland, Germany, France, and Spain. Then down to African countries, Morocco, Algeria, Libya, Egypt, Sudan, Ethiopia and Kenya on their way to South Africa.

 The most amazing part of their story was how they came to Mombasa. They came in through the following towns, Isiolo from Ethiopia, passed through Mandera, Garissa, Tana River all these town border Somalia where there’s high alert of the Al Shaba one of the Terrorist Gang. They came down to Malindi and finally to Mombasa, it was not only amazing, wonderful but very crazy. And in all these places, they just asked well-wishers to allow them to sleep in their homes or outside their houses.

Life is all about taking the risk. I learned that everything is Possible. If you want to travel and don’t have enough funds, that does not mean you cannot do so. This world is full of people who can help, can offer their motorcycle, Lorry, Trailer to carry you for free to your destination. You don’t need a Plane ticket to travel to another country; you can risk and try Hitchhiking.

The Cycling Travellers

These particular travelers who were young at their mid-20’s. It was a man and his girlfriend who came from Poland. They were cycling from Jinja Uganda to Mombasa Kenya. They decided to follow the Rift Valley down to Mombasa.

They passed many villages and each day they cycled 30Kilometrs and then rested. Some of the town in Kenya, they passed through were, Kitale, Eldoret, Nakuru, Naivasha, Narok, Loitoktok, Taveta, Mwatate, Kwale, and Mombasa. The amazing thing was every day they found someone to host them either in their house or outside the compound where they pitched their tent.

They told us the one day they were trying to pass through the Tsavo National Park, where we have the Big Five, Elephants, Giraffe, Buffalo, Lion and Rhinos, but they met the Rangers and could not allow them to cycle through the park because it was very dangerous. They had to be carried in the Lorry with their bicycles.

Life has many beautiful slides. Through these travelers, I learned that it takes determination to succeed in life. Do you know how to cycle? If yes then you can cycle your way to wherever you want to go. It’s amazing that you will also meet many people who will be willing to open their doors to host you. And also give you a safe place to put your bag and your bicycle.

All Kind of Religion Travellers

I have met many travelers who have openly told me that we don’t have religion. Particularly I’m interested in this young man who came and told me, “I don’t believe in Religion and I don’t believe in God”. To me this was very strange but, what amazed me was, his story on how he became an Atheist.

As we talked and shared many stores, I came to do that discover deep in his heart he does not hate God but He hates Religion called Christianity and even Islam. I discovered it was the way he was handled by the religious leaders of the day, and how these Religious Leaders have presented God to him, the community and the nation at large.

Because traditional he grew being taught the ways of God by his grandmother and his mother. But when he reached the age of Majority he rejected that “Kind of God”, he saw presented by the Church. However, deep in him, he had a longing of touching God. I learned a very big Lesson that even those who say they don’t have a religion or they don’t believe in God. Deep inside their hearts, they cannot resist Gods love, if demonstrated in the right way.

Conclusion

All humans are the same in terms of Need. It doesn’t matter whether someone is black, white or any color; they all have the same needs. It doesn’t matter whether one is an Atheist, Christian, Muslim, Hindu etcetera, they all are looking for people to love and care for them.

All travelers who I have hosted they had one common thing. They were looking for security, love, and care. When they felt safe with me, some even extended their say with me.

It doesn’t matter whether one can afford a plane ticket, or not, or one is hitch Hiking or cycling, they all can travel and reach their destinations. You can travel and experience other people culture. Why don’t you try Couch Surfing, it will connect you with people all over the world.

We have people who are amazing and wonderful in Couch Surfing. People, who are willing to offer their couches, bed, floor, and compound to be used by a traveler who is traveling, at zero cost. Don’t Hesitate!

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton

Every Journey begins with one Step. Stop procrastinating begin the journey of your life by making the first step! Even Rome was never built in one day!

Life is full of ups and down.  We rise and fall. We keep trying but end up failing in life. However, we have never considered why we keep on failing? Many at the end will live with , I wish I had”. We need to ask, why do we keep failing?  Here, are seven reasons will make one not to succeed in life.

1. No Dreams In Life

Some of the people think they have dreams, but actually they have wishes and hopes. There’s a difference between a dream and a Wish. Unlike a wish or fantasy, every dream has a plan.

2. Failing To Write It Down

Many have dreams but have never recorded them. It’s important to write down the dream. Writing down the dream, make it easier to know what steps; you need towards the dream.

3. Having No Plan

 A dream without a plan is just a wish or a fantasy. It’s like a journey without destination. A plan will make one know how to move to the end. With plan you can evaluate each step you make towards the dream.

4. Having No Accountability

Most people don’t allow others to keep them on track.  They fear that others will know their weakness. For us to succeed, we have to be accountable to someone, who will keep us on track onto the dream.

5. Refusing To Delegate

Many people are afraid to share the load with other people. They just want to win alone. They want to have take all the credit alone. However, we have to know that, for nay big dream to be realized, there’s need for delegation.

6. Not Taking A Risk

Many are afraid of taking the risk. Some have good dreams, but they back off taking the risk. They fear the cost involve, hence fear losing money. You must know that, taking risk and dreaming go hand in hand.

7. Failing To Take A Step

There’s a slight difference between, those who succeed and those who fail in Life. The steps one takes towards the goal, will either make him/her succeed or fail. Every road to success begins with one step.

Let’s consider these seven reasons why we fail in Life and begin to change our lives. When we do so we will be on the road to our success. Begin taking steps towards your success!